The PE Teacher Approach vs. Gentle Challenge

Starting out exercising was really, really hard for me.

Taking physical education classes in school gave exercise a really bad name.  Everything was about competition and comparing oneself to others.  Of course, I was the last pick for the team every time.  I was clumsy and not into competition.  That was even before I was chubby!  I don't remember ever receiving messages about the importance of being active, and the impact that caring for our bodies has on our minds, hearts, and souls.  I think I would have responded much better to this than to the grumpy PE teachers who made me run four laps around the track while my lungs burned and I felt panicky about not being able to breathe.  (We didn't realize I had asthma, and I didn't have an inhaler, until I was 16.  So there were many miserable years).

I often hear my friends who want to lose weight talk about what new, super-intense fitness program they want to do.  They know that Pilates or Zumba are hard and get fast results.  Yes, absolutely they do.  But when you're a beginner, it's very easy to burn out on them, and start avoiding.  To me, this is much like the PE teacher approach.  It's a one-size-fits-all way of looking at exercise.  You either exercise to the max like all the super fit people do, or you don't at all.  That approach has never worked for me.  Here's what has:

I made a rule against hating exercise.  I absolutely will not hate it.  I refuse.  So, if I'm doing something and I'm in pain and I'm hating it... either I find a way to reframe it as an exciting gentle challenge (authentically, I have to REALLY feel better about it, OR I take the intensity down a notch so it is still challenging but not horrible, OR I stop.  

I know, I know, I know.  You watch The Biggest Loser and it's all about pushing past the pain.  I agree that there's something to be said for that, and I do push myself.  But if you hate what you're doing, are you going to do it again?  Not for long.  

I'm all about very slow, gradual changes.

I started out doing very simple things, and I celebrated my little victories at every step. If I did something more that day than my usual routine, even if it was something really tiny, I considered that a success.  And that attitude of abundance (hey, I'm doing something!) rather than deficit (I'm not doing enough) has taken me much farther.

I walked my dog only five blocks, and slowly added more and more distance. I added some easier hills, then some harder ones.   I did water aerobics.  It felt great!  There was something really invigorating about being in the water... and water aerobics can be as gentle or as challenging as you like.  You're underwater, so people aren't able to gawk at your body like in the gym, so there's a certain level of safety there.  And you get a lot more benefit from even small, easier movements because of the water resistance.  Check it out.

After walking my dog for a while, I tried very easy hikes, then harder ones, then backed off to easier ones, and back to hard ones.  Now I'm almost able to keep up with my friends who are thin, not asthmatic, and have been hiking for years. Give me some time, and I'll be as fit as them.  I'm getting there slowly, and it's awesome!

Now I do pilates and zumba here and there, mixed in with gentler challenges like riding my bike (even just a few blocks) and walking my dog.  

Addition and Subtraction

One of the things I struggled with for such a long time every time I thought about losing weight was how punishing the whole thing felt for me.  And you know, there are some aspects of it that are just going to be punishing and there's not much to be done about that.  Getting in shape takes hard work and serious dedication!  But taking that negative, punishing view of things actually backfires in my experience.

It has taken me so, so, so many years just to get the ball rolling on my way to better wellness.  What finally did it for me was a really simple, easy first step.  Instead of making rules about what I wasn't allowed to eat, or the number of days I had to exercise each week or hours each day... I decided that absolutely ANY improvement over what I'd been doing already... was something to celebrate.  I also decided that my journey was going to be about addition, not subtraction.

I don't have rules against eating my favorite foods.  I don't restrict my calories or anything like that.  What I've done so far is I've increased healthy foods.  That has naturally led to a desire to eat better overall, actually, and it doesn't feel so punishing as saying I can never have chocolate or ice cream.  Now, I'm not perfect.  But I don't get caught in a downward spiral of guilt, more bad choices, more guilt, etc. because I'm cheating on my "diet."  My goal is increasing wellness, and every step I take toward that has been a celebration for me.

Maybe that sounds like I'm just lacking in self-discipline.  And I think that's a fair assessment- I probably am.  But this was what it took to get me going.  50 lbs later, I'd say it's a good start.

I think it's important to make the journey to wellness about self-love.  Being gentle.  Doing good things for yourself.  Never punishing and beating yourself. 

Just my two cents!

Now Introducing... The Chubby Bunny Blog!

I chose the name "The Chubby Bunny Blog" because I wanted a blog about wellness that was welcoming and embracing of people at all kinds of different points along their path to better wellness.

You don't have to be chubby or even working on weight loss to be included in my vision for this blog: chubby is my particular angle because weight loss is a big part of my focus.  But I'd like to talk about wellness more generally: physical, psychological, emotional, social, spiritual, whatever!  You also don't have to be thin, or happy, or even already motivated toward wellness of any kind.  If you just want to dip your toe in and think about things, that's okay too.

The hope I have for this blog is that it will become a community to connect the people in my life who are working toward better wellness, and allow us all to support each other.  I hope to have posts about what different people view wellness to be, and what efforts they are making or even just dreaming of or considering making in order to increase their wellness in some way.

I want to do posts about my own experiences, but I would also LOVE to receive submissions (even anonymous ones) about other people's experiences.  I'm thinking about doing interviews with some of the people I know who are focused on wellness and doing posts about that.  I may even at some point learn how to do podcasts and start doing some of those.

I've had a lot of friends and loved ones ask me what my secret is, since I've lost 50 lbs in the past year.  I don't think I have any brilliant earth-shattering insights to offer, and it's been a long hard road so far (with a much longer road ahead, since I have almost 100 lbs to go!).  But I have picked up a few things along the way that have helped me.  And since I'm only at the very beginning of my wellness journey, I hope to pick up a lot more!  I want a forum to share the things I'm learning. I also would like to provide a forum for others to share what they're learning, what they're struggling with, and their victories - big and small - along the way.

Do you dream of being able to ride on a plane and not have to extend the seatbelt out as long as it gets and suck in and squish your tummy into it?


Did you go to the gym for the first time ever this week?  What was it like?


Are you envious of the people around you who don't have depression or anxiety?


Have you tried out psychotherapy or medications, and did that help?


Have you lost a lot of weight and are now struggling with your new identity as a thinner person?


Do you hope to be able to hike someday, but can't imagine that for yourself?


Did you have a battle with cancer (your own or a loved one's) that taught you a lot about your own strength, or what makes life worth living?


Would you like to learn how to knit, or play guitar, or meditate because you know it would help with your stress?


Do you have a hard time motivating yourself to eat right, even though in theory you care about doing it?


I wanna know about it!  
And I know other people would, too.  Shoot me an email or stop me when you see me, and tell me about it!  Maybe let me interview you, if you're brave!